http://mistressmatisse.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-want-you-to-imagine-enormous.html

Last Night
I want you to imagine an enormous warehouse. Huge. Big enough to comfortably house, say, a DC-9. It might be even bigger, but the bare bulbs hanging from the ceiling only dimly illuminate the raw and rather dirty walls and concrete floor, so the furthest corners simply fade into unmeasurable blackness.

There’s some detritus here and there – pallets, tarps, boxes – but it’s mostly empty, except for four cars parked in the center of the room, and in one far corner, an RV. A gallery runs around the perimeter of the room, at second-floor height. The lights don’t reach it, so it’s impossible to see what – or who – is up there.

And in one corner of this vast, chilly room, there’s a hot tub. And in that hot tub, quite alone, and naked, is me – lounging against the jets and smiling to myself at the oddity of it. Here I am, in what is arguably the kinkiest place in town, and I am engaged in that most vanilla of all the pseudo-sexy experiences, hot-tubbing. Alone. Edgy, huh? Not so much.

I am choosing to ignore the fact that there is a security camera nearby, and there is a security guard sitting, with a bank of screens in front of him, just a few hundred feet away from me. He’s around a corner, out of sight, but there is no door between us. But what the hell - if the camera is on, and he sees me - well then, he sees me. It seems silly to cavil, when after tomorrow, he’ll be able to very easily buy much better quality images of me. (However, he has been strictly polite and professional to me, not so much as a flicker of anything else, even when we had to go exploring together to find this hot tub. He himself was unaware that it here, and while his English seems fluent enough, he literally did not know the meaning of the phrase “hot tub”. He seemed a little confused even when I pulled off the cover and showed it to him, splashing my hand in the water. But he shrugged and left me to it.)

Soon I will get out, dry myself, and go up the stairs and down the long hallway to the little dormitory-style room I was assigned and go to bed. My shoot doesn’t begin too early, but I have a feeling the building will come to life tomorrow morning and be a very different place than the silent, echoing place it is now.

• 13:07 About to fly back to SF from Melbourne!!! #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Still Alive" by GLaDoS and Jonathan Coulton

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "Faithfully" by Journey

Despite being sick this weekend I was at least productive. As much as I didn't want to venture outside I had to for a few last necessities as I was out of cream and needed veggies. I finally took the plunge and reinstalled windows on my Dell laptop and did a load of laundry. The rest has been watching many episodes of Moving Up and may have to start on Untold stories of the ER after Dexter.

I do feel this cold was a short one so I should be back to normal for monday

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

last night was strange, though in many ways good. i felt like i looked good for the first time in a while. i got an awesome foot massage and some free drinks from guys wanting to talk to me. i have someone interested in booking work for me, which would be awesome. i hate that part of the process. there were lots of cute guys there last night, but many of the regular people i see at Fetish Nation weren't there. there were 2 other club nights going on in hollywood, i wish FN was on Friday nights instead. i had some offers for trouble but i went home. i'm still reeling a bit from the breakup. it doesn't feel like it's an emotional reaction, i'm not really sure what it is. i think i'm in a state of shock - i don't really know what to do with myself even though there is so much i need to be doing. whatever it is, i'm not dealing with it very well. i'm not used to sleeping alone, but i haven't done my usual reaction and slept with a bunch of random people. i feel very out of sorts, like i'm not connected with the rest of the world. i know it doesn't make any sense, it's hard to express. i'm happy i've had a rope enthusiast staying with me the last several days, it's kept me from completely self destructing and falling apart. a lot of people i know are going through rough times/difficult changes right now. i hope it will soon pass for all of us.

must pack some dvds for the bizarre bazaar.

heading out in a few for Fetish Nation. i'm being interviewed for a documentary on the Dirty Show. it's kind of cool that people are interested in what i have to say. for years I felt like no one was interested in what i had to say, "just shut up and get naked" or maybe it was all those years spent with a ball gag in my mouth that gave me that impression :) still, it's nice. i was interviewed for another documentary when I was in Berlin by Anna Brownfield. Hopefully i said something intelligent or at least interesting enough to make the final cut.

i'm going through a strange period. my boyfriend and i have parted ways at my suggestion. he gave me a lot of freedom but he couldn't give me some other things that are crucial to me. i've never broken up with someone and still liked them and myself. i'm either totally destroyed or hate their guts. i guess i'm just not willing to let things get to that point anymore or i know myself better now. still it's hard. i really wanted it to work out, he's a great guy in many ways i just don't think he's the guy for me. how i'm going to do better than a guy who likes what i do for a living and lets me fuck random people (and some not so random people) i'm not sure...

something that's been in my head for a while now is getting a slave/girlfriend. i haven't had a girlfriend in a long, long time. the one i did have was so insane it turned me off to girls for a while. most chicks still get on my nerves but there are exceptions to that rule, i just need to find them. if i could clone Krissy -mmmm. the problem is there are so many pretend / above the waist lesbians that do it in bars or parties for attention but would never actually fuck or date a girl, especially in LA, the land of poseurs.

must get in latex now.
hope everyone has a great night!
Julie Simone

I'll be at the Bizarre Bazaar tomorrow (Sunday) from 12-6 with DVDs in hand, so if you're in LA, come by and buy some goodies to do bad things with!

-Julie Simone